Sheila's Story

When I meet my ex-husband I thought that he was my world. Good looking, suave, out-going personality. We dated for two years and then we got married. The warning signs were all there, but I refused to listen to my gut feeling that he was not the one for me. When we were dating, whenever we got into an argument he would shake me or if we were in the car he would tell me to get out and I would start to walk while he would drive slowly, telling me shouting out the car window "Look at what you made me do?" It is your fault that you got me mad. Listen to me next time and things will be fine. He did scare me but I stayed because he was so fine and I loved him. (That is not love at all)

When we got married, things started to get worse. My ex-husband was a functional illiterate and he did not like the fact that I made more money than him. I did not find out that he could not read until AFTER we were married and that he could not balance or write out a check. That told me that I really did not take the time to really get to know him.

He was very controlling, possessive and if another man looked at me he would start arguing telling me that if another man looked at me he would slap me. The first time, that my ex-husband every slapped me was when I did not put the dishes away the way that he wanted them. He was in the Army and his thoughts were that everything had a place and had to be in order.

I could write a book about everything that I went through with this person. What happened that made me stronger and look at things differently was when my daughter was born. When I took her home from the hospital and she started crying constantly, day in and day out. Everyone thought that she had croup, I did not believe that. I knew that my daughter sensed the unhappiness in the house.

When my ex-husband tried to pick up my daughter and attempted to throw her down because she would not stop crying. I ran over to him and said, you will NEVER hurt my daughter. I will kill you if you do anything to her. I knew at that time, that I had to do something. Before I got the courage to leave, I ended up in the hospital countless times, and I lost a set of twins from this person. I could not tell my family because they would not believe me. In front of others he was a man that everyone loved, behind closed doors he was a monster.

Ladies, it took me another 2 years to save money and build up the courage to leave. It is not a easy process and if anyone tells you all you had to do is walk out the door. Ignore them and leave, they have no idea what it feels like to experience such fear for your life your children's lives.

Men who abuse women are cowards and it is nothing but CONTROL. It took thousands of dollars of therapy to realize that. Still to this day, I have trouble with self-esteem, loving myself and saying that I am beautiful and worth loving.

My ex-husband told me that I was not beautiful, I was useless, I was not worth shit and no man would ever want me. Don't believe it my sisters!

Today, I have a beautiful 13 year old daughter, I own my own event planning company and recently I won a home buying contest to receive money towards a down payment on a home.

God is good always!

SHEILA